Since arriving early Tuesday morning here in Isla San Cristabol,we have been very grateful to get here;
This is why:
1) away from the mental Panama City,Panama and after initial high of Smiths visit and the canal experience, living on the boat in perpetual renovation like chaos, Stress and lists ..... 2) succeeded in sailing here from there under spiritually enchanting seas sky,by day and by night. 3) Clean water, a pleasant anchorage and a quaint friendly town and 4) We made it to see Joeys Magali !!! This dewy relationship was the veritable reason we came ,"when and where".
Last morning in Panama I was beginning to really crack.
I had two more pertinent tasks;
the market to pick and purchase enough freshies to last a potential of 30/40 days
And to the travel clinic to get follow up shots for both Joey ,Olivia and myself,overdue I might add.
The market wasn't so painful,we loaded up so that we literally gorged on fruit ,trying to eat before the worms or heat beat us to it.
We never did get those shots.Now,Monday morning I must rally the two teens to the sketchy looking hospital where an attendant just told me we could see and Doc and get the shots,
At least,that's what I think he told me.
The language thing is funny,I really think that we all,us linguistically challenged,Hills,really believe that either
1) it will just be placed into our brains like a chip the longer we stay in a oSpanish speaking world, or that,
2) after a while,they will just begin to understand us...either way ,the denial is plain,we just arent doing anything about learning more Spanish!!
We get by,the international expressions unite us.
Panama was fun about three times,the first with the Smiths,going out to the old town( I may be repeating here,can't get to Internet to read last blog ...)
For a really wonderful dinner,and back to Casa again with Salamander,a family from England traveling with their two children and a delightful Scottsman,Scot.
Third fun time was getting four tickets to go and see Shakira who preformed at a huge outdoor arena at the end of the causeway near Frank.. and Bruce Mao Large museum in progress...
The kids split and went ahead with Jules and Hilary of Salamander.David and I walked down,enjoying a reprieve from floaty work world,a beautiful night,moon waxing.We split up and I ended up with a gay man who kept telling me I LOVE YOU!
Then I met Guppys Laura and her good friend and Doc film director,Jillian from NYC. That was fun; walking back with them,having lost David,meeting J and O at the docks,pirating an unlocked family tourist bike for four and rattling back down the street to seek our skipper! We did find him and squeaked and whizzed back,youth revived,land and wheels a novel and earthen spree.
We left Saturday around 4 pm and motored just out to fresh sea ,and anchored spent off of the little island Tobagota
Sunday we sailed to Las Perles where we met Salamander and enjoyed two dinners with them in a fine anchorage. Tuesday we parted and began our journey to The Galapagos
Here,the thrill is,swimming!! The SeaLions! Restaurants,the smallness of a town,how precious. I realized that it j
Has been since February when we were in Bonaire that we have been in a place where we can swim off the boat( OK ,yes,of course we did in The San Blas,but we had an agenda)
The sealions are hilarious; 'sea lions',distinguished from' seals' because their ears are on the outside of their heads .They are everywhere,we must barricade our transoms and hoist our dinghies as they are found fat -bagging in these choice places. This morning,I observed the evidence that an interloper came up from the sea .A trail of brown slime confirmed the path, all the way up and onto our white vinyl seats in the cockpit. I imagine a doe eyed head resting on the tablecloth ,as the fishy smelling wet spot confirmed. In the water,they are sleek,graceful,playful..They come and swim with us! Under the boat,between the pontoons where the water is emerald and they can be seen zooming, torpedo -shaped strait under.The first time it happened,I jerked in fright!
What's it Like?
That's the question I asked myself 10(!!!!!) months ago before we left
I assumed the following with my mission statement :
#1 I had to let go, to surrender to ,"what is".
I projected;
I would have a hard time not being able to run / bike
Our skin would get sun damaged
I would miss daily communication with my friends terribly
We couldn't count on Internet connection
I would have a hard time living so close for such long stretches with my teenage children
David would not be," free" to relax,write,help the kids with keen interest in homeschooling.
David would spend a great deal of time fixing or stressing about parts needed to fix stuff on the boat.
I would assume basically the same jobs I had at home;food management,director of schedule: back up.
I could continue my personal intentions of mindful ;healing, open hearted seeking of authentic connections in relationship.
I would continue to practice yoga and meditation
We would meet interesting people
We would awaken with experiential learning ,move refreshed in the world from a very new and awesome perspective.
That my most ambitious longing to be swept up by Gods massive and mammoth potential for unconditional love and be cleared of all human suffering and become enlightened...would not happen...
We would simplify our lives in the arenas of social life,lifelong routine,material things and attempt to find something on our path that could inspire us to help the world in a tiny weeny way
And Actually;
That's what I foresaw . It is pretty close but a whole lot more intense.
The exercise thing is cyclic,I feel the loss of the activities I truly enjoyed and treasure as my own.
However,the yoga,the swimming when we can ,does sustain my sanity and sense of control,
David is committed to help Olivia with her Science ,however challenging.
Joey has become a competent sailor;proficient in all electronics,navigating,all systems aboard. He is savvy-communicating regularily with fellow sailors,skippers and crew alike,tenacious - confident in working through a challenging puzzle that David has handed to him to work through ,responsible, mature, trustworthy reliable.
WOW
And...not so respectful to his Ma, in fact I like him the most when especially Magali or other people are around.It's nature,his pushing me away,however,it hurts sometimes.
Olivia has finally come around to appearing to want to be aboard,to live the gypsy life,meeting kids her age or adults,speaking with wisdom,pragmatic,sensible,supportive.
She has matured and blossomed before our eyes,budding interests,and an opening of awareness that from my perspective is the template for learning and growing.She is brave,a willing participant in shifts at any and every hour. She has been a very delightful gift,her development healthy and positive! That,I didn't hope to expect.
Indeed,we have met some fantastic people,people I now claim as friends.
Epiphanies?
When Philippa was very young,she asked me,Who is God? I answered her malleable wee self and said," God is Love" We know love from very early on,that flippy inside excited feeling,warm as toast . Sometimes it makes you talk like a baby,sometimes it puts you at your best! Ultimately,it connects you to the real you ! I've been trying to open my heart during the challenging times,in preparation for this trip and of course during this adventure.Times when the misery is so cloying,so menacing I react,I want to run to yell ,to smash!! They tell me to b r e a t h, let GO Peggy........I long for love ,never able to " download it " then and there.
When the Dolphins came ,I felt it big!! They came to show me the love. Oh did they ever! It felt like spirit guides had arrived .They joyously ,swimmingly accompany us, a distinct feeling of connection,like they are there to play with us is very present. That's it,that's the feeling,love,and God is Love so,Dolphins are God,we are God!
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